


Snow Fall

by OutOfPracticeYall



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Anxiety, Christian Character, Domestic Fluff, Family Bonding, Family Fluff, Gay, Lazy Mornings, Panic Attacks, Religion Mention, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 01:49:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12333039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OutOfPracticeYall/pseuds/OutOfPracticeYall
Summary: The first snow fall of the year brings back some unwarranted memories for Dadsona.





	Snow Fall

Despite having lived in the Christiansen house for a month now, you still whined and buried your head underneath the pillows every time the 7 am alarm woke you from your slumber. At least it never failed to entertain Joseph. Who would chuckle as he leaned over you every morning to switch off the alarm and kiss your shoulders whilst he was there. He had suggested switching bedsides on more than one occasion, but how could you pass up the opportunity for those sweet morning kisses.

“Morning, love,” He breathed against your skin as his hand idly found its way to stroke your back and coax you awake, to which you’d responded with another groan. You wish you were a morning person and you really wish you could return his affections so early but you were lost to the world until you had at least three coffees in your system. “You promised you’d help get the kids ready this morning.”

“Mmhm,” You waved your hand to signal you heard him but made no effort to move. “Five more minutes.”

You heard him sigh as he moved away and stretched out his limps, you took this opportunity to peek your head out from under your pillow and sneak a look at him. Due to the cold weather, Joseph stopped sleeping in just his underwear and was sporting full-length pyjama pants and a matching long-sleeved pyjama shirt. Pastel themed, of course, sky blue, and the pockets on the front had little anchors on them. The type of pyjamas you had previously thought only existed in tv sitcoms. The dorky attire brought a lazy smile to your face. 

Joseph caught you looking and playfully winked, “I thought you needed five more minutes?” He spoke as he leant back over the bed to where you lay, “But if you’re awake...”

You leant up to meet him for what you presumed was another kiss, letting your eyes slip closed. Only to have the covers snatched away from you. The cold air whooshed over your body with such a force you snapped up to a sitting position and your gasp of shock was near a yell. All the while Joseph was cruelly laughing at you, no doubt feeling very proud of himself right now.

“You absolute brute!” You pouted and jabbed his arm. You wanted to be mad at him, you really did but the sight of him wiping the tears from his eyes as he continued to giggle had your heart melting. Still, you’re pouting did earn you that kiss he had tricked you out of moments ago as he gently pulled you into his arms.

“You’ll get up now?” Joseph asked letting his lips linger nears yours, if anything it only tempted you to drag him back under the covers, unfortunately you didn't have time for such things.

With a grumble you parted from his hold. “...Fine.”

Rising, you made your way over to the drawers and found a pair of pyjama bottoms and a spare T-shirt of Josephs- for you still did sleeping in nothing but your underwear- as Joseph flung open the curtains and surveyed the cul-de-sac. “It’s snowed.” He remarked.

You froze. It was still too early for snow, wasn’t it? It had to be. You couldn’t bear to look and confirm what Joseph had just said. Instead you stared at the wall ahead of you as your body seemed to grow numb. “Snowed?” You repeated. 

Thankfully, Joseph wasn’t facing you so he couldn’t see the distress that almost certainly was spreading to your face as he confirmed with a hum. You had to move, urgency suddenly pulsed through your veins. You had to do something instead of just standing planted to the floor waiting for him to notice you. So, you finished straightening out your clothes and made to leave the bedroom. “I’ll get breakfast going.”

Breakfast was easy. It had order and would keep your hands and mind busy. Breakfast meant that you didn’t have to look out the window and see the blanket of white suffocating the outside. It was Tuesday, which meant that Chris would want pancakes, if you or Joseph accidentally forgot that, the day would start with a tantrum. Of course if Chris was getting pancakes Christie would want them too, so you set out making a large amount batter and heating the pan. Christian was, thankfully, a lot easier to please with simple honey on toast most days, which could be made when Joseph brought them all downstairs.

As you stirred the batter you heard the wails of Crish from upstairs, like yourself, the toddler was not a morning person. After placing a frying pan to heat, you set up the high chair at the end of the table and wiped your brow with a huff. The tightness in your chest had almost completely erased by the time the parade of sleepy children filed into the kitchen, followed by Joseph carrying Crish. Bed heads all around.

That absentminded smile found its way to your lips again as you surveyed your family. You silently wished Amanda would come home more often to be a part of this picture. The thought was lost, however, when Joseph approached you, wrapping his arms lazily around your waist, kissing your lips and humming, “What would I do without you?”

“Perish,” You teased as you stole another quick kiss before returning to the stove and started the pancakes. “How many, young man?”

“Four, please.” Chris had appeared at your side holding a plate out ready. He was still half asleep, his little blue eyes barely open. Christie stood close behind with her own plate.

“And you young lady?”

“Four, please!” She beamed.

Meanwhile, Joseph had set about pouring the children their juice and starting his and yours coffees whilst Crish played with his spoon in his chair. It would only keep him entertained for so long. Drinks poured he then started Christian’s toast and warming the toddler’s porridge. Breakfast was easy indeed. It was balancing act, but one that was learned, perfected and completed swiftly every morning. 

You were all soon sat around the table, hands joint, Christie’s in your right, Joseph’s in your left as he said a quick grace and finally you dug in. There had been enough batter left over for two more pancakes so you treated yourself to them and sipped your coffee contently. All you needed was a newspaper in your hand and a dog curled up at your feet to the cliché dad of the movies. The coffee warmed through you and you could feel yourself becoming alive with it.

“Daddy, can we play in the snow?” Christie asked Joseph. 

You almost choked on your drink, you had forgotten about the snow. Joseph seemed to have noticed as his eyes flicked between yourself and Christie. “Sweetie, we don’t have time. You can play in the snow at school.”

She whined and kicked her legs under the table, but you hardly noticed, you just stared at the centre of the table. Snow. Snow meant ice. Ice on the road. To keep eating was suddenly a great effort as if weights were attached to your arms; you had to swallow hard to get the food past the lump in your throat. 

The sound of loud clap snapped you out of your thoughts with a start. It had been Joseph. Usually it didn't affect you, it was simply the only way he could get all four kid’s to pay him any attention. “Time to get dressed kids! Remember to brush your teeth and wash your faces, especially you Christian.” He shook his head for the boy had managed to get honey in his hair again.

“Yes, Daddy!” They replied in unison and rushed off to get dressed.

Before you could move to clear the table, Joseph’s hand found your own again. “Honey, you seem off.” His eyes pleaded with you to tell him what was wrong but you didn’t think you could find the words even if you wanted to.

“I’m- I’ll be okay.” It was the best you could manage; your heart was pounding in your chest as you spoke the words. “Promise.”

His brows furrowed and he exhaled as he held the gaze a moment longer, trying to read your features. Sometimes he was in tune with you, you felt he could read your mind. You worried he knew you were lying to him. If Joseph did, he gave no indication of it as he squeezed your hand and stood to also go get dressed. “Watch Crish for me?”

“Sure.” You nodded, an easy enough task. But first you needed to take care of the dirty the dishes, you had no reason to get dressed so early, so it made sense that you’d be in charge of clearing away breakfast. The only problem with that was the sink was directly in front of the window. You couldn’t avoid looking out of it as you filled up the sink. It wasn’t a thick snow but it was enough to make the world outside look bleak, cold and very dangerous.

Ice under the snow. Wheels on the ice. Police at your door.

You shook the thoughts from your head as you dumped the pots in warm water to soak and made yourself another coffee. Cleaning could wait you weren't ready to face the reality of what was waiting outside, or the memories it was dredging back up with it. You didn't get chance to pour your coffee for Crish was demanding your attention. He gargled impatiently for you to pick him up clearly bored of his left over food and threatening to let crocodile tears fall. 

“Oh hush.” You chided him, even as you gave in and lifted the toddler into your arms. After cleaning the porridge from his face and changing his now messy clothes, it was a good five minutes of swinging him around and making airplane noises until Joseph and the rest of the children appeared one by one.

“I want swings! I want swings!” Christian demanded, so you safely set down Crish and hefted the small boy in your arms and swung him around. And of course, Christie too wanted ‘swings’ and even Chris tugged at your shirt for a turn, but he promptly changed his mind the moment he was in the air. By the end of it you were so dizzy you nearly fell backwards.

“Do I get a swing?” Joseph joked, as his arms slid around you, steadying you against him.

“No, you'll put my back out”

“How about a kiss?”

“That I can do.” Your arms found their way around his shoulders and you let your fingers comb through his soft hair. You couldn’t see Chris but you could tell by the way the twins giggled he was mock barfing. You kissed Joseph anyways, letting your lips linger there, but keeping it chaste so not to torture the children too much.

He sighed against your lips, “We have to get going.”

The blood in your veins chilled as you jerked back. You didn’t want them to go and couldn’t bear Joseph getting behind the wheel. Yet, there’d be no arguing with him and you knew it, he had to get the kids to school so you swallowed your fears again and stepped back. It was irrational to be afraid anyway. Just because it happened once before doesn’t mean it will again. Right? The look of concern and puzzlement returned to Joseph's face but you dismissed him by ushering the children to get their coats.

Once again you found comfort by distracting yourself. You helped the children into their coats and winter boots, Crish was included in this for if he didn’t get his morning ride you’d hear about it. Joseph opened the door and the twins rushed outside giggling and running about the lawn as they grabbed handfuls of snow. They were going to play and their father was going to chase them whilst they pelted him with snow whether he wanted to or not. Chris followed quietly all the while you stood fixed to the spot, toddler in your arms, staring at the open door as if it was going to swallow you whole.

The noise from outside quietened but you couldn’t tell whether that was because Joseph had wrangled the twins or because your heart was pounding your ears.

Snow means Ice. Ice under the snow. Wheels on the ice. Police at your door. 

You bolted upstairs, a hand on the back of Crish’s head so it wouldn’t bounce around too much. He complained anyways. Setting him on the bed you moved to the wardrobe to find a small shoebox at the bottom of it and ran your hand over the lid. You hadn’t officially moved in, you still owned your house on the cul-de-sac so most of your stuff was still there, but you had brought this with you. It was mostly full of photos you'd brought over to show Joseph and the children, they weren't what you were looking for now. Hushing the toddler that was rolling around and angrily gargling at you opened up the shoebox and riffled through the memories you kept inside there until you found a jewellery box. The beating of your heart steadied feeling its weight in your hand.

Inside the box rested several silver necklaces and matching circular pendants, engraved on them was the picture of a tiny robed man hoisting a child atop his shoulder. Saint Christopher. The patron saint of safe travel. You’d given one to Amanda when she’d left for college and though she wasn’t religious she had happily taken it, even if it was only to put your mind at ease. The rest were for everyone else, you’d bought them all at the same time, but when it came to actually giving these to Joseph and the kids you felt kind of stupid about it. So you put them away and forgot about it. Until now.

Picking up Crish and tucking the box in your pocket, you headed back downstairs, pulled on your shoes and (with only a little hesitation) stepped outside. Where Joseph was still battling with Christie to get her seatbelt on. She’d turn his hair grey someday. You fought back the churning in your stomach as you seated Crish in his car chair and walked around the car to wait for Joseph by the driver side door.

“So, uhm, I have something for you guys.” There the words were out. No going back now.

“Oh?” He grinned, cocking his head to the side, “Do I get to guess?”

“No.” You wanted to entertain him but this was hard enough as it was, fumbling in your pocket you pulled out the box and presented it to him. With the look on his face, you almost worried he’d mistaken it for a proposal, but then the box was far too big for that. His hands cupped yours, you realised you were shaking and you wandered what you must look like to him. You couldn’t take it; you shoved the box into his hands and pressed your own cold hands to your cheeks to get rid of the heat rising there. “Just open it.”

Time seemed to go painstakingly slow as he did and examined the box’s contents. “St Christopher?” 

“Yes. Look I know it’s stupid, just please, I need you all to wear them today, okay?”

Ice under snow. 

“Okay.” He pulled you into a quick hug, making your heart leap and kissed your cheek. “It’s not stupid.”

You nearly lost your composure completely. When had the tears started forming in your eyes? When did your entire body start shaking? You chewed your lip to contain to straggled cry in your throat. “Just drive carefully okay?”

“I will. You’ll be okay until I get back?” He wanted to stay, you could hear it in his voice, see it in his eyes, but he had to take the kids school.

“I will.” You forced a smile; from the look on his face, it only made you look worse. “I promise. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Another kiss and he was getting in the car. You said goodbyes and I love yous to the children, the twins said it back, Crish gurgled and Chris still wasn't ready to say it back so he just hugged you. Words were hard for him. Finally stepping away from the car you noticed Joseph handing out the necklaces; no doubt this car ride would full with stories about the saint.

And you felt helpless as they drove away.

***

Waiting was the hardest part.

No amount of cleaning or word puzzling would distract you. Every time you heard a car engine you ran to the window, but it was always the neighbours. Craig had caught you peering out and beamed at you, waving. You waved back and retreated inside. For a while, the pair of you texted back and forth but it did nothing to quieten the twisting in your stomach.

Another coffee, you thought might clear your head. Only you were shaking so badly that when you picked up the piping hot cup you split the liquid over your hand. You managed not to drop it on the floor at the sacrifice of it sloshing across the counter as you practically slammed it down. You hissed as you stuck your burning hand under the sink. That was the closest you come to forgetting your anxiety until you looked up and found yourself staring directly at the backyard drowning in snow.

Ice under snow. Wheels on the ice. Ice under snow.

And then you were hyperventilating on the kitchen floor. Your head throbbing as you raked your hands through your hair and grabbing fistfuls of the strands as if you were physically trying to pull the ugly thoughts from your head. There was no escaping the memories, or the snow or the fact you had let your family walk out that door, knowing how dangerous it was.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, you ignored it. You didn’t want to talk to Craig anymore, or anyone else. You wanted to bury your head in your knees and cry, to be able to breathe. You wanted Joseph and the kids to have not left you alone. You wanted Amanda to be home and safe with you not countless miles away. It buzzed again. And then a third time. 

Fine, you thought and reached into your pocket, intent on telling whoever it was to stuff it. But then you read Amanda’s name. You hastily opened her texts.

‘Made it to college, Pops.’

‘I’m wearing the Necklace. Look.’

The third text was a picture of her, indeed wearing the necklace you bought her, standing outside the college building. Her hands were up in front of her doing the peace sign, the necklace hooked on her thumbs so you could see it better as she stuck out her tongue at the camera. The tears that fell from your eyes were different this time, tears of relief, the tightness in your chest subsided. Amanda was okay, that meant the rest of your family could be okay. You text her back an ‘I love you, Panda, be safe.’ And within minutes she replied sharing the sentiments.

You lingered there on the floor concentrating on steadying your breaths before the stinging from your burn rose again and you stood up to finish tending the wound. It should settle soon you thought so you simply wrapped it in a wet cloth which made it look a lot worse than it really was. Joseph would flip when he sees it. He’d also smother you in kisses, everything had an upside, even accidentally burning yourself with hot coffee.

No sooner than you had finished wrapping your hand you heard the front door opening. You didn’t have time to process your actions; you had already started running and flung yourself at Joseph, so hard he almost toppled over. You only had enough sense in you to have waited for him to put Crish down first. “You’re safe!”

“Well, how could I not be when I have five Saint Christophers in my car?” He mused wrapping one arm around your shoulders and planting a kiss on your forehead. Despite his cheerful tune, he held onto you tightly. Clearly he was still worried.

“What took you so damn long?”

“I had to pick up milk,” He replied, presenting the milk in the hand that was not holding you, “I said as much at breakfast.”

You must have been in that much of a panic early you hadn’t heard him. The trembling found its way back into your legs, you suddenly felt so stupid, you’d overreacted. Joseph was safe, Amada was safe, the children were safe and you had been an idiot about all of this. You pulled away just enough to cup his face in your hands, you had to check him over you couldn’t help yourself. No bruising, no scratches, just his perfect face in perfect condition.

“You want to talk about it?” His voice was so sincere and quiet as if he were afraid Crish (who was currently playing with building blocks) could understand him.

“Not yet.” You managed to whisper without your voice breaking and pressed your lips to his own. Then to his nose, his right cheek then his left, along his jawline, you felt the heat of his blush against your lips. “I just need this.”

“Well, I’m not about to refuse free kisses.” Joseph chuckled, lifting you up and carrying you to the sofa and sitting you across his lap. “But keep it PG in front of Crish, yeah?”


End file.
